February | 2013 | This Dad Cooks

Archive for: February 2013

Diet Update – I’m A Failure

Feb. 26 Dad's Thoughts no comments

So, a little over two weeks ago, I announced right here that I was planning a new diet and exercise routine. And for the entire first week, I think I did great. For me, at least. I stuck to the plan, fasted for 16 hours a day, avoided alcohol and worked out.

And as always seems to be the case in my life, anytime I intend to try to start something new or get into a new routine, things go to hell. Let me explain.

The first night of my exercise plan, I was in workout mode. I got through the first set of exercises in my circuit and was starting on the second set when my father called. My father is 75 years old this year and he’s gotten to the point where he talks for hours on end about nothing in particular only to get to his point at the one hour mark. And thus, this interrupted my momentum.

Needless to say, I struggled through the rest of my set, after having an unplanned hour long break between circuits. I also discovered just how out of shape I truly am that night. For the next two days, I was so sore in my thighs, it was all I could do to stand up off the couch. That was expected, having done squats for the first time since I was in high school.

So, my initial momentum was thrown off. Then financial disaster struck us, nothing outrageous, but we had to deal with the stress and figure things out. Then Valentine’s Day and my 38th birthday happened. To celebrate, I had some beer with dinner. Then some more the next night, because you’re only 38 once!

Further, my father’s lady friend had to undergo surgery, he needed help with some things that required my time and talents, the ceiling in our bedroom needed repaired to the tune of almost 2 full sheets of drywall, it was tax time, etc. Basically I have excuses, and I realize that. But I don’t deal well with too much stress all at one time. If I can spread it out a bit, I can deal just fine.

It just felt like everything was going on at one time, and my focus turned to problem solving, not sticking to my plan. I need to work on that, personally.

What I’m saying here, is I have just slightly more than absolutely zero willpower. I tried to get back into my routine and just couldn’t work up the same desire as I initially had. But I’m not beating myself up here. I WILL get back up on that horse, and I am working to get everything else in order this week so I can start again next week with a clean slate.

In writing this post, I realize just how petty all of my excuses really are. I allowed myself to fall into the “yeah, but” trap. That’s a dangerous place to be, especially if you lack the willpower to push through it all. I think what I need is a fresh start with a clear mind.

I may have lost this battle, but I will not lose the war. I intend fully to turn 39 in a much better state of health and fitness.

We’re Officially “Campers” Now

Feb. 19 Family no comments

Last week, thanks to a very generous Grandfather, we are now the proud owners of this:

Yep, that right there is a 1988 Jayco JayDove 6 PopUp camper. It’s not fancy, it certainly needs some work, but it was acquired at less than $700 and any problems it has are simply cosmetic. Structurally speaking, it’s in primo shape!

This is a big deal to us, because as any family with multiple children can tell you, travelling expenses are ridiculous when you want to take a weekend trip. Hotels are typically around a minimum $100/night if you want an efficiency where you can cook your own meals at the room as opposed to dropping $100 per day on eating out.

Additionally, we’ve been wanting to get the boys out fishing and hiking, and basically just get them the hell away from video screens. Now, we can.

I remember when I was a boy growing up, my parents owned travel trailers (much nicer than this one, almost like a hotel on wheels) and we would camp out (or RV if you’re a purist I guess) at least one weekend per month from April to October and we’d take a week long vacation every Summer as well. Campgrounds charge considerably less for a site per night than you can expect to pay for a hotel room, and many campgrounds have pools, recreation centers, miniature golf courses, and other activities so that you always have something to keep the kids busy.

So yes, we’re finally going to be campers. It’s a step up from having to sleep on the ground and that’s a huge plus in my book. I did my share of tent camping as a teenager with my friends, and even back in my younger and more limber days, I would wake up stiff and sore from sleeping on the ground. Perhaps, I’m just not built for true roughing it.

As a bonus, I have this set up in the yard right now while I figure out what I need to do to fix up the looks and the kids have already spent two nights camping out in it. It’s almost like having a babysitter built in. They’re not more than 30 yards from the front door, and we can leave a window open to keep an eye on them all night long. A little alone time with Momma goes a LONG way.

First Day of Healthy Living

Feb. 12 Dad's Thoughts 2 comments

Yesterday was the day. The day I started my journey towards a slightly healthier lifestyle. Instead of my usual truckload of bacon, eggs and hash browns, I had black coffee for breakfast. Instead of deep fried butter for dinner, we made Arroz con Pollo (you can find that recipe here). And you know, it wasn’t half bad.

I figure I’ve had nearly 38 entire years of being and eating whatever the hell I wanted. I don’t regret it so much as I realize it’s time to make a change before it’s way too late to do anything about it. I am following a diet plan known as Intermittent Fasting (IF). You don’t starve yourself, you don’t ingest crazy chemical compounds to curb your hunger, you simply don’t eat for a portion of the day, every day. Read more

Arroz con Pollo – A Healthy Chicken Dinner

Feb. 12 Dinner, Recipes 1 comment

I found this recipe a while back at EatingWell.com and it looked like something my family would definitely enjoy eating. As a bonus, it’s pretty good for you too. Each serving is about 380 calories and that’s important here as we’re all trying to reduce our caloric intake.

So let’s get to it and learn how to make Arroz con Pollo, or Chicken with Rice! Read more

Farts in Cars in the Smoky Mountains

Feb. 07 Family no comments

What is it about a fart that just reduces boys into quivering, convulsing mounds of raucous laughter? I mean, I’m a guy so I absolutely get why a fart in and of itself is funny. I’m not completely stupid. But the amount of joy that a poot can bring to a young boy is immeasurable.

Girls don’t see the humor.

My kids, they’re all fart ninjas. It’s like their sole function in life is to either produce gas or to point it out and die from the absurdity of it all. We took them on a Christmas vacation to Gatlinburg Tennessee this past year and our 13 year old, Jesse, tried to kill us with chemical warfare the entire time. And the other two, well, they alternated between asphyxiation by way of methane and asphyxiation by way of laughter.

Myself and their mother, however, failed to see too much humor in being shut up tight in a Dodge Durango, in freezing temperatures and having to endure the most eye-watering, throat closing, noxious gas ever created by a living creature. Seriously, dogs eating Hormel chili don’t smell this bad. I am truly of the opinion that something crawled up inside my son, died and then something else crawled in there, ate the first dead thing and died as a result of it. Either that, or he’s got some Dark Side force gas that shouldn’t be possible in nature.

You see, when it’s near freezing outside we typically try to keep the heat running the car and the windows up to preserve the heat that we have. As one would typically do in such conditions. Normally, it works out just as you would expect it to.

However, on this particular trek into the Smoky Mountains, we wound up with a visit from the swampy ass of a pre-teen. He was truly in rare form. And it seemed that just as soon as one violent attack on our olfactory senses would dissipate, he’d unleash another round of carpet bombs, designed solely to test our wills.

It’s doubtful this would have helped in the least.

Finally, after trying in vain to suffer through it in silence and disgust, we relented and put down the windows. If you’ve never been to Gatlinburg, there is a two-lane road that runs through the town and sidewalks crammed with tourists on either side. At best, you move at the blistering pace of 3 miles an hour. What I’m saying is, there wasn’t a lot of wind being generated to help remove the stench.

Welcome to the Smoky Moun…JEEEEZUS What’s that smell?

As we rolled down the windows, Aaron said through his shirt covered face, “We’re going to have to apologize to everyone on the sidewalk when that leaks out of here!”.

And that, friends, is the story of our Smoky Mountain Christmas vacation. Do you have anyone in your family that just lights up a room with the thickest, most despicable odors? How do you deal with it?

Kids and Eyeglasses; A Constant Struggle

Feb. 07 Family 1 comment

Do your kids wear glasses? No? Then move along, this post isn’t for you. However, if you’re one of the lucky parents whose children need corrective eye wear, then you probably have experienced my pain.

You see, in our family of six, only one doesn’t need glasses to see more than a foot in front of them. I’m not sure how he won the genetic lottery, but I despise him for it. For the rest of us though, it’s eyeglasses all day, every day. And that means a trip to the optometrist to get exams.

Exams aren’t so bad, by themselves. Sure, they’re $60 and sure it’s inconvenient to have the angry little Vietnamese eye doctor scream at you not to blink as she drops dilation solution into your eyes. She’s a great doctor, she’s just angry all the time. But that’s getting away from my greater point here.

Even if you or your kids only need single vision lenses, you’re presented with so many options for coatings and colorings, frames and styles, lens materials and for some reason a garbage disposal option, that you get easily confused. You think your vision insurance is going to take care of you, right? WRONG. The frames and lenses they pay for aren’t fit for your worst enemy.

Your insurance company, if you’re fortunate enough to have one, only cares about function. So what if the glasses are made from asbestos and weigh about 10 pounds? They correct your vision, it’s up to your plastic surgeon to take care of your permanently smashed in nose. And if you don’t like what you can get on your insurance, you can choose from the other ten thousand choices they have available on the racks.

My parents truly hate me

Only, you can’t choose that unless you’re willing to take a second mortgage on your home. Frames cost anywhere from $100 to $holyshitareyouinsane? It’s crazy. And when it’s a kid getting glasses, you’d be better off taking $300 and wiping your butt with it. At least that provides you some modicum of temporary relief.

Kids and glasses. It’s a perfect storm of tearing into your life savings. My boys can break a pair of glasses faster than you can say “Don’t clamp your brother’s head in the wood vise until he takes his glasses off!” It’s a common occurrence around here to replace glasses quarterly. And frankly, it’s getting expensive.

brokenglasses2

We found a few online retailers of glasses though, and through them, we’ve whittled down the cost from $holyshit, to $damn. It doesn’t seem like much, but I’ll take a dozen “damns” over one “holy shit” any day. We alternately choose between Coastal and Eye Buy Direct. Neither of those links are affiliate links, just two companies we use to keep the costs down. All you need is your prescription and you’re good to go ordering a backup or replacement pair of specs.

What about you? Do your kids destroy eye wear like it’s their job? What have you done to keep both your savings and your sanity?

Toilet Paper Is A Precious Commodity In Our House

Feb. 06 Family no comments

I don’t know how it is in your house, but in our house the one crisis that continually arises is a lack of toilet paper at the absolute most inopportune moments. That’s not to say there isn’t any in the house at all, it’s that it never seems to be in the bathroom that someone happens to need it in at the moment. I’m still baffled as to how this happens on such a regular and reliable basis.

You see, there are six people in our home. Myself, my beautiful bride, and our four offspring. As you can probably figure, there are a lot of butts in need of servicing by way of double-quilted softness. And as I would hope you could imagine, we buy copious amounts of this stuff on a weekly basis. In fact, if Charmin or Northern or any of the other major butt care companies happen across this post, we would not be against a little sponsorship. We’re probably responsible for a good 10% of your annual earnings alone. Read more

Working on Getting Healthier

Feb. 05 Family no comments

With my 38th birthday approaching soon, I’ve decided that while I enjoy my terrible-for-you foods, beer and cigarettes, that I’m going to try to start taking a little better care of myself. Mainly because I want to reach 39, but also because being a fat-ass isn’t necessarily a lofty goal for a person.

So over the course of this year, I hope to be updating the site with healthier recipes, status checks on my personal progress and how the family is adjusting to eating better as a whole.

Anyone who’d like to join me on this journey is absolutely welcome aboard. Your own thoughts, experiences and stories will always be welcome here at This Dad Cooks. And don’t worry, it’s not going to be all bean sprouts and tofu. In fact, it’s NEVER going to be tofu. I will eat a tractor tire before I will eat Tofu.

Seriously, which sadistic son of a b*tch dreamed this up?

So, get ready, with my 38th approaching in 10 days, I’m gearing up to slim down and get healthier. Hope to see you along the way.

Just a Quick Thought

Feb. 05 Dad's Thoughts no comments

Pictured: Not me.

As I sit here, looking out on the Internet from my palatial three bedroom home on less than a quarter-acre of land in a subdivision in South Carolina, something occurred to me. You don’t really know me, but yet, if you’re visiting my site you have undoubtedly noticed the advertisements on the side of the page there.

Well, I’m trying to pay for the site’s costs by getting just a touch of revenue through those things. You obviously don’t have to click on them or pay any attention to them, and you’re still welcome to visit and share your thoughts, opinions, etc., with everyone. I just believe in full disclosure. Read more

Super Bowl Party For the Family

Feb. 04 Dad's Thoughts no comments

Another year, another Super Bowl and with that, another chance to have a great family party for us and the kids. I love cooking up food that we can’t eat every day, because it’s not the healthiest stuff in the world, but to splurge once in a while I think is just fine. Makes you appreciate it a little more as well.

So yesterday, we had a plan. We were going to make some spare ribs on the grill, some cheeseburger and chicken tender sliders, homemade soft-pretzel bites, a beer-cheese dip, homemade tortilla chips, mozzarella sticks and my wife’s famous taco dip. It took most of the day leading up to the game, but we got it all cooked in time to put out a Super-Sized spread for the last official football game of the year.

The kids pitched in, helping with preparation, cooking and of course indulging, and other than the game itself, you couldn’t have asked for a better party. Being a family of long-time Redskins fans, we had no real rooting interest in either team and we just kind of tried to enjoy football for the sake of football. The food was great, and I apologize for not getting pictures to share with you, and we had a great time screaming at the television set, snacking on tailgate fare and wincing at that awful GoDaddy commercial. We almost hurled up all of the treats we had eaten.

Other than that and the 34 minutes without power to play the game, it was great. Sort of our little family tradition. Now if we can only figure out a way to get our Redskins in that game sometime soon.